Solo parenting alert: my children are still breathing and I’m still functional. Right now my salvation comes in the form of Dragon Riders of Berk, season 2. Jesse and Nick even smothered me with kisses in exchange for the season purchase on Amazon. It seemed like a good barter to me, about a dollar a kiss.
I ate a delicious salad for dinner, with things like avocados and a grated carrot and mushrooms. Nick had a grilled cheese and Jesse had baked apples, and also she tasted one piece of lettuce from my salad. I’m a classy mom.
Nick became very noisy as our 3-minute sit-down-together meal winded down, subjecting me to all manner of screeching as he careened happily about our tiny kitchen. I was getting increasingly upset until Jesse giggled and rebuked me mildly. “You should just laugh, mommy. We can’t understand anything he’s saying anyway, and he’s actually really funny.”
I hate it when my kids are right. I’m not sure how I’m going to survive 3 more days of this sickening cuteness without Anthony.
I wasn’t born to be a solo parent. Anthony is an extremely useful second parent, and when he’s out of town, I struggle. I especially have a hard time getting the dog out for walks. The kids refuse to come outside with me in these frigid temperatures, but then when I’ve walked out the door they’re filled with intolerable dread over being in the house alone. So Nick does things like run out of the house bawling, “mommy mommy where are you??” and Jesse chases him down the driveway screaming “Nick come back, COME BAAAACK!!!” It echoes through the entire neighborhood like rolling thunder, drivers-by observe my half-naked, shoe-less kids wandering the front yard at sub-zero wind chills, the dog’s too distracted to take care of business, and then she waits until I leave and shits in the basement.
To avoid this horrible spiral in the mornings, I let the kids turn to electronics while I walk the dog. They never took to rubber binkies as babies, but WOW the iPad minis do the trick. It’s a fun way to start the day, until I tell them to put the iPads away and get going. It’s all downhill from there, but at least my neighbors don’t have to witness as much of our insanity.
The rest of today and 3 more days to go before Anthony returns. Somebody help me not hurt my kids until then.