Non-stick cookware is one of those modern amenities I really can’t live without. But I’m wondering if I should learn to do just that.

I like to have really high-quality (aka expensive) non-stick surfaces. They ought to last longer, according to all the reviews, which means their toxic coatings are leaching ever-so-gently into the foods I feed my kids, which is much better than a fat poisonous dump.

I’m gentle with my non-stick pans. I use special sponges. I use low heat. I have special coated tools. But somehow my nonstick devices always, always, always gather scratches quickly, and they disintegrate quicker than anticipated every time. I noticed a new gouge just today in my fry pan. Why? Whence cometh the gouge?

Anthony.

He is an obstinate man. He answers my dramatic incredulity with quiet and peaceful indifference.

“Oh my god Anthony why is the empty pan on the burner and it’s set on high???”

Eyebrows up. “Oh. Is that a problem?”

* * *

“Why are you using a KNIFE in the non-stick pan, Anthony??”

“I’m being careful.”

* * *

“Anthony!! Are you scraping the rice out of the rice pot with a METAL SPOON??”

Silence and a “caught me” sidewise glance. “Yeees, but I’m being gentle. See?” (Waves spoon cheerfully in air)

* * *

A victim pan:

See those horrible scrapes and dents? Shaking my head unhappily.

As for the new gouge I noticed today. Hmp. Anthony used the pan this weekend. I don’t know how he does it but he’s a non-stick brute.

Well. Nick’s grilled cheese sandwich will just have some extra bits of plastic coating in it, right? It’s the new normal. Meanwhile, I should start boning up on properly seasoning my cast iron pans.