staybandoning in place

I’ve been doing a lot of stuff for the past 37 days and apparently none of it involves writing a blog post. Which sucks for me personally, because it’s so therapeutic, but does allow me to take care of real things going on around me. Like family visits, Thanksgiving, a Christmas tree, finishing construction on the house…

Shit like that. 

Nick keeps telling me, “mommy, I need some more love.” But honestly, a new iPad game or Dunkin’ Donuts treats seem to be perfectly adequate substitutes for him. 

Jesse glumly told me today that I’ve abandoned our family Christmas traditions this year. She added that I need to get some exercise and lose weight. She looked at me hopefully as she said these things, but I couldn’t muster the rise she was looking for. 

Both kids are obviously resigned to getting no real attention from me these days. 

Other people talk about enjoying staycations–and holy crap, thank you autocorrect for changing that word to “stagnation”! Autocorrect is in sync with my head tonight for a change. 

Staycations really are a stagnant notion in my opinion. I can’t imagine much that would be more oppressive in my blissful domestic life than staying home with my kids for an extended time, recreating… At home… Like we always do. 

I can top the staycation. I’ve embraced a new stay idea, which I call staybandonment. I have staybandoned my kids for the past six months as I deal with our home renovation. I’m here in the home with them, but they are totally reliant on their own devices and I’m useless to them. And also they’re stuck here, because I’m too busy working here to take them anywhere.

I guess I should feel guilty, but today I’m choosing not to because Jesse said something really unexpected to me. “Mommy,” she announced cheerfully out of the blue, “today has been a great day!” 

I can’t remember the last time my down, anxious, OCD-addled, self-loathing child was so upbeat.  

And as for Nick, well, he’s Nick and he’s resilient. Daddy took him out to dinner and played with him, and his cup seemed well-filled as he fell asleep in my arms tonight, his eyes drifting shut peacefully as I kissed his sweet forehead. 

Well then. Carry on, my little staybandoned spawn. Keep up the good work. 

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One thought on “staybandoning in place

  1. Mommy guilt is a bitch, no? (Fascinating that so many fathers who work constantly seem free from such angst, although I could be way off here.) At least your kids can see that you’re super busy and trying to get things done…it’s not like you’re zoned out playing games on your phone or watching TV like other parents who have staybandoned their kids. 😉

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