People are seriously upset about what they’re calling a “Muslim ban” on immigration to the US. But Donald Trump has spoken about his Executive Order  suspending visas and banning refugees from Syria and a good chunky handful of Muslim-majority countries. “It’s not a Muslim ban,” he told us as he signed the order.

And really, he’s someone we can trust because he always tells the truth, he always tells it like it is, so I’m good. It’s not a Muslim ban, this I know, for the Donald tells me so.

Everyone who matters (i.e., conservatives, republicans, right-wing commentators, Fox News) agrees. Even Paul Ryan says it’s not a Muslim ban. Everyone else, all the other people in the world who see it differently? Hello. They’re liars, cry babies, fakers.  Fake news. Dishonest and crooked media and useless sorry Democrat pansies. I’m making a big “L” with the thumb and forefinger of my right hand and holding it up to my forehead. Losers.

Plus, the EO doesn’t actually say the word “MUSLIM,” so obviously it doesn’t apply to Muslims. Because if the EO was meant to apply to Muslims, Steve Bannon the white nationalist wouldn’t write it in a sneaky way that might avoid using that word but still accomplish the same thing. Duh.

Just like last week I yelled at my daughter about somebody leaving a bunch of dirty clothing all over the floor in her room. I did not mean her. I obviously was not referring to her, because I did not say her name. I just happened to be channeling my yelling in her direction. Duh.

Donald Trump says he’s keeping his campaign promises. This immigration EO is obviously fulfilling one of his promises. Just not the one about Muslims.

Trump said in December 2015 that he was “calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what the hell is going on.” This call is contained in his “Donald J. Trump Statement on Preventing Muslim Immigration,” which continues to be posted on his website:

But that promise to actually ban Muslim immigration because Muslims are such bad people does not apply to this EO, obviously. So calm down, everyone. Stop getting hysterical. This EO is not the Muslim ban that Donald Trump promised in his Statement on Preventing Muslim Immigration.

Duh.