At least one dog walker has been leaving giant bags of dog shit in our dumpster. Unless I retrieve the bag, that means the shit will sit there for weeks and weeks until this project is finally done. So I have to reach into that nasty dumpster, full of all manner of construction waste, workers’ fast food garbage, and festering rain water, and pull the bag out to put in my regular garbage can. 

Let me send this open letter to any person who would throw a bag of their own dog’s shit into a dumpster in front of someone else’s home: 

Dear dog-shit-dumping neighbor,

ASSHOLE MOVE. Does this really need to be explained to you? Of course not. You know what you’re doing is wrong, because you only do it when no one is looking. Being a sneaky asshole is no better than being a bold and brazen asshole. 

Please knock on my door the next time you fling your dog’s shit into my dumpster. We can chat and share a beer or two. Then I can oblige your shit-swapping habits and come take a dump in your front yard. 

Sincerely yours, etc.

I shouldn’t have had to put up this sign. It probably won’t make a difference anyway.