Today I embraced the unparenting philosophy, kind of like unschooling. I woke up and headed out with the dog. I don’t know what the kids were doing, but they were still in two pieces when I got back. Good enough. I made coffee and ignored them until they told me they were hungry. I think they had the TV on by then (which I almost never allow) but I’m not actually sure. I dutifully fed them and then ignored them some more while I cleaned up a bit. Still no idea what they were doing, and I didn’t need to know because no one was yelling or crying. They asked for sweet treats. Sure, why not? Then the babysitter came over for almost 5 hours.

WOOOOHOOOOOOO.

I had lunch with a friend and attended to shopping errands. In three not-having-lunch hours I made successful visits to 7 retail establishments – SEVEN – and kept an eye appointment, and also had time to slump for a bit with a cuppa at the book store cafe. All of that would have taken two weeks if I had to lug the kids around, and I saved the 25% mark-up on expenditures I associate with co-shopping with my minions.

I got home and walked the dog, and then I ignored my children until dinner, which I slapped on the table indifferently.They actually complained about my not making a better meal, but fell quickly silent when I reminded them they usually refuse to eat my dinners. (Nick frequently announces dinner is “disgusting”, which is very cute out of a four-year-old mouth.) While I was considering not doing the dishes, the electricity went out and I couldn’t ignore the kids anymore because it was pitch black in the house. But by then they seemed to understand that today I’m pretty much on strike. Jesse worried over our frightened dog while I found the emergency flashlight, and then she rounded up a camping lantern and a couple LED book reading lights. Nick hovered but didn’t beg to be held. They were great. We got ready for bed and relaxed until the lights came back on and then they went to sleep peacefully.

I don’t understand why they haven’t been more difficult. I feel like I’m in the eye of a storm and I’m pretty sure I’m going to pay for my behavior tomorrow, when day 4 of solo parenting commences. I’m already feeling stressed and grumpy about whatever revenge they’re planning. I’d better have a drink.