Just for kicks, I googled “What does it mean to be grumpy.” I was wondering how the world around me perceives grumpy people. I was surprised by what google unloaded.

The urban dictionary says “grumpy” is slang for “the act of defocating” (misspelling in the original). As in, “I just took a grumpy in the can.”

For real? Who knew? I’m familiar with many, many euphemisms for poop and pooping — I consider myself a veritable expert — but this is new.

Aargh. Autocorrect. If I type “poop,” autocorrect actually offers me “poopfest” and “poopage” as alternative words. But if I type “poopING,” suddenly autocorrect is all coy and must change it to “popping” or “pooling.” Apparently Ms. Autocorrect has a problem with in-progress bowel movements. What a prude.

The on-line slang dictionary takes it to the next level of transformative hip. You can “bust a grumpy.” Pooping re-purposed as a form of dance? Mm.

I dunno. I think most of us feel less grumpy after releasing the hounds. Maybe I’m wrong.

This Google search took me in such an unexpected direction. Then I scrolled down and discovered google’s offerings for “related searches.”

I’ll never understand the Internet. (Shakes head and grumbles as she walks up the stairs to go bust a grumpy.)