grumpy about the holidays – day 13 (gingerbread houses)

Today was gingerbread house day. I can’t really buy kits because of Jesse’s egg allergy, so I bake the house pieces from scratch and we glue them together with frosting made from Crisco and powdered sugar. Yummy and totally disgusting at the same time. Last year the kids decorated the houses with their babysitter Sarah. It was a rousing success. I stocked them with much candy and frosting, and they got busy. Sarah is the best babysitter in the whole entire world. I know this because not only is she great with the kids and a very cool person and incredibly tolerant, but she also used the micro-grater to grate candy canes to make snow on the rooftop of her gingerbread house. She planted tiny candy canes next to her house as light poles, and glued little jelly beans on the underside of each hook to look like a light bulb. It was amazing.

So we repeated this year. I baked the house materials last night, and Anthony and I constructed the homes today.


Look at that. Anthony just had to put his house at an angle on the board. What a rebel. Also he used the construction adhesive in excess. Whatever. I’m not being anal or OCD about it or anything. Just… it seems like a lot of adhesive. Is all I’m saying.

So we left those house structures with the kids, and I got them all of these decorating materials:


That doesn’t seem like too much, does it? I think there are about 40,000 calories looking at you from that sideboard. I organized it in little containers for the little people:


I know, the photo is at a sort of funny angle. Here are close-ups.

Christmas gummy bears, berry-looking candy things, jellybeans, two types of candy canes, and some sort of Christmas candy and licorice mix that tastes like shit but should make for good decor —


Lego candy blocks, chocolate pretzels, sugary thingies in different colors, some more disgusting-tasting licorice-like candies, and candy raspberries and blackberries —

Chocolate-covered sunflower seeds (YUM), red hots, M&M thingies, butterscotch chips, white pearls, chocolate sprinkles…


The pee-ass day la rez-eez-stance — ribbon candy…


Maybe I overdid it.

Nah. Anthony and I went out and left the kids with Sarah. While Anthony and I played Santa at Toys R Us, and then drank and ate dinner, and then drank some more and saw the latest Hunger Games movie (long title, decent flick), the peeps at home got creative. Sarah made a very understated house.


There are candy lights on the eaves! D’OH! Candy cane chimney! And she made a piping bag out of one of the empty baggies the candies came in. So practical!


Look at the structural beam over the house’s front door, and the shrubberies:


So cool.

Jesse didn’t finish her house, but she got a good start. She’s less orderly than Sarah, and slightly more demented. But overall, I think she did a really nice job.


Yes, that’s a little snowman in her yard, and here’s the Dali-inspired front entrance:


And finally, Nick. At five years of age, I’m not sure how he filters the world. But now I know how he decorates gingerbread houses. He was very understated, really. Here’s his front entrance — 2 windows, door. Simple and classy.


Oh wait. here are the other elevations. That’s more like it.




I like the candy-cane detritus in the yard as well. Maybe that’s supposed to be firewood?

I know it’s a disgusting amount of candy and sugar, and a total waste of the earth’s resources, but gingerbread houses make me feel so Christmasy and cheery. I love them.

2 thoughts on “grumpy about the holidays – day 13 (gingerbread houses)

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